Revelations
Went out with 2 of my cousins tonight to a club I've been to 5 years ago. The whole thing is divided in 2 areas - kiddies and adults. 27 is a funny age: You're too old to party with the kiddies (have I ever been 18?) and too young to disco-fox the night away with the older ones.
Apart from that the club is located in the center of the Ruhrgebiet, the area I grew up. Tonight, more than ever, it showed that I have outgrown all this. The people here are very down to earth, which is a good thing to start with, but I feel like I don't belong here anymore. This will always be the home of my family, but my home? Don't think so. It is a bit like the first time you beat your parents playing cards without them letting you win - there's not much significance to the single event, however something changes and will never be the same. Tonight I came to the conclusion that I will never come back and settle down here. I knew that before, but now it seems irreversible. It is a bit sad, especially because I don't know where I'm going and seeing that I don't even have a physical home at the moment (will be end of March before I finish traveling and get myself an apartment). But maybe that's normal and the way things go?!? Hence I'll move around as long as it takes to find a place I feel at home.
However, tomorrow is "Altweiber" where giant groups of girls all over Germany swarm out to get drunk and enjoy themselves - I'll join in and see if a few pro mill change my point of view.
Went out with 2 of my cousins tonight to a club I've been to 5 years ago. The whole thing is divided in 2 areas - kiddies and adults. 27 is a funny age: You're too old to party with the kiddies (have I ever been 18?) and too young to disco-fox the night away with the older ones.
Apart from that the club is located in the center of the Ruhrgebiet, the area I grew up. Tonight, more than ever, it showed that I have outgrown all this. The people here are very down to earth, which is a good thing to start with, but I feel like I don't belong here anymore. This will always be the home of my family, but my home? Don't think so. It is a bit like the first time you beat your parents playing cards without them letting you win - there's not much significance to the single event, however something changes and will never be the same. Tonight I came to the conclusion that I will never come back and settle down here. I knew that before, but now it seems irreversible. It is a bit sad, especially because I don't know where I'm going and seeing that I don't even have a physical home at the moment (will be end of March before I finish traveling and get myself an apartment). But maybe that's normal and the way things go?!? Hence I'll move around as long as it takes to find a place I feel at home.
However, tomorrow is "Altweiber" where giant groups of girls all over Germany swarm out to get drunk and enjoy themselves - I'll join in and see if a few pro mill change my point of view.
posted by odd-one-out at Thursday, February 15, 2007
2 Comments:
hi Katrin
going home from Asia after a few months, i felt like i was foreign. home was the same, but i'd seen and been a part of a culture that didn't apply there.
my theory: as much as we love a place, we assign memories to many places if we travel. when we do that, 'home' expands and becomes harder to find. it includes Ruhrgebiet (for you) and many other places.
then again, maybe this theory's just an excuse to not visit relatives.
Hi Chris,
I think you have a point there, that the more we travel and get to like different places, the harder it gets. However, I came to the conclusion that it is not too much about the location but about the people we meet there. What it all comes down to is: Home is where your heart is.
(or it's all bullshit and really just an excuse not to visit relatives ;-) )
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