Today I’m saving your life…

(ok, this post became MUCH longer then I intended it to be, but I guess if I could take the time to write it you can read it just as well, don’t you think? ;-) )

…or at least 94 minutes of it. I just happened to watch the most PATHETIC movie ever. Maybe it’s a waste of time to read this review, but by writing about it I kinda make up for watching it. Understand what I mean? No? Ah well, just read it!
Ok, the movie’s called “Dinner with friends”, starring Andie MacDowell, Dennis Quaid, Toni Collette(?) and Greg Kinnear. ANY movie starring Andie MacDowell should be labeled “Don’t!!!” in the first place (Groundhog day and Green Card are exceptions, but certainly not thanks to her), so I should have known better… I’m loosing track again, so on with the review. Summary: Two couples in their late thirties, who have been friends for many years. One couple breaks up, the other couple is devastated. The separated couple gets new partners, new lifes and becomes happy while other couple questions their relationship and the long term friendship because of their friends’ new found happiness, but decides in the end that things are actually good the way they are. That’s about it.

The verdict:
#1: I am determined to hate that film. It’s like a road movie – I hate road movies! You get to know the people and accompany them for a certain period of time in their (usually meaningless) life. No setup, no complication, no retard, no climax, no resolution. I’m really old fashioned (e.g. simple) when it comes to movies: If the knight doesn’t kill the dragon and saves the princess, I’m not happy and would like to sue the box office for stealing my money. Where’s the point in watching a knight on his way through the woods, reflecting on recollections of his meaningless life? Boooooooring! (In case he commits suicide in the end, he’s forgiven!)
#2: No music, except for the end. Maybe it’s the editor trying to tell me “This conversation is far too meaningful for you to be distracted by such a random thing as music”…well, thanks for robbing the opportunity to actually not listen to the crappy dialogues for a moment.
#3: Don’t tell me what to do! I like to figure out the message of a film myself, in case there is any. It doesn’t have to be served on a silver plate with a giant neon-sign saying “precious advice”, thank you very much. It was like reading an American “life quality” book about how a marriage works, how to cope with changes and how to “preserve the magic”. WTF?
End of movie criticism, I think you got the general idea.

On with on-topic - off-movie statements.
Personally, I make a huge detour around general-life-advise books, because I don’t need or want books to tell me how I am supposed to see things.
Therefore, my humble opinion on that matter: if you are married to someone and every day you turn the keys to your not-yet-paid house and you feel like all of a sudden a heavy weight pulls you down every time you walk through that door, is it so hard to tell that something is obviously wrong? Maybe it’s something you can work out, maybe not. You’ll realize by talking to your better half and find out if you can cope with it. Go figure and bare the consequences. Some people are better off being separated.

And relationships in general? Watch out, big bummer news coming up: People change! Shocking? It gets better: It’s ok, because it’s part of the deal.
The matter of the fact is that the person you fell in love with is the person he/she became before you were together, and the other way ‘round. You don’t give up (all of) your individuality by becoming part of a couple, well, most people don’t, so you will naturally develop AS WELL based upon the person you were before you became part of a couple. That can result in nasty surprises as well as in good ones. Some people change intentionally to please their partner, but you can only change so much, and maybe in the end there’s nothing left of you. Compromising in little things is fine, but giving up who you actually are? Not really… at least that’s what I think.

What it all comes down to is that people are different, and personality-wise the setup for a happily-ever-after couldn’t be worse than between men and women, but I always thought that a relationship is not supposed to be work, it’s supposed to be bliss; it shouldn’t make your life more complicated but put you at ease. Down at the core I’m a hopeless romantic, so I think if you are lucky enough to find a certain someone who you love and, equally important, share the same wavelength with, chances are good that you can happily grow old and wrinkly together. Enjoy the things both of you like together and be happy for the things that make your partner smile like a child the night before Christmas, but that you’ll never understand.

…maybe I should start writing general-life-advise books and become f***ing rich ;-)